I have always had an aversion to my middle name, Casandra. In Greek mythology, Cassandra was a prophetess who was cursed by Apollo so that no one would believe her revelations and warnings. Anytime someone would ask me what my middle name was, I would cringe and roll my eyes in response. Growing up, my mother told me that my father wanted Casandra to be my first name but she insisted on Briana instead. Traditionally, the Shaman, Priests, or Elders would conduct ceremonies at the time of our birth and would use divination to name us based on the destiny we are meant to fulfill within our community.
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5
I believe my Dad, who is also a gifted Seer, intuitively sensed that I was called to be a prophetess and wanted to anchor me into my identity. My intuitive gifts and prophetic anointing were activated and heightened in my youth and adolescent years. As a baby I was blessed and dedicated to God. Around the age of eleven I made the choice to get baptized and I experienced my first spirit possession shortly after during my mother’s choir rehearsal.
Under the tutelage of Southern Baptist Ministers, through the laying on of hands, I grew in my gifting but I also grew in the understanding of what it would cost me to fully accept my calling. I spent a long time wondering if the stare’s, and accusations of others claiming I was possessed by the Devil was worth the position. So I renounced my gifts and attempted to fill the void with alternative careers like social work.
Working in the field of trauma and mental health felt like a safe place to mask my gifts while somewhat operating within them at the same time. I could cloak my intuition and still be of service to my community in a way that didn’t make me a target for judgment and ridicule. However, what I didn’t take into consideration in all my masking, was the realization that it was my own lack of self acceptance that was keeping me from truly feeling secure. Everyone else’s stares and condemnation were simply external reflections the Divine was using to bring awareness to the ways I was disowning myself.
As difficult as this realization was, I did the messy work of excavating my buried gifts, came out of hiding, and made the commitment to love and embrace myself for exactly who God created me to be. It has been the best decision of my life. And it is a decision I must recommit to everyday because there are moments when I am at the crossroads and Elegua is asking me to decide between hiding or shining. And with the strength of my Egun behind me and beside me, I find the courage to shine. It is my hope that this testimony will somehow give you the permission you “think” you need to shine too.
We all have parts of ourselves that we have consciously or unconsciously buried within the dark recesses of our mind, in order to find a more comfortable and safe way of navigating through this world. But the hiding is costing us our wholeness, our joy, and our fulfillment. If you would like support in recovering and integrating the wounded parts of your soul that are ready to come home, consider booking a shadow work tarot reading session with me. Because the world needs the fullness of who you are and we are ready to receive and embrace all of you when you are.
“We all are born whole and, let us hope, will die whole. But somewhere early on our way, we eat one of the wonderful fruits of the tree of knowledge, things separate into good and evil, and we begin the shadow-making process; we divide our lives. In the cultural process we sort out our God-given characteristics into those that are acceptable to our society and those that have to be put away. This is wonderful and necessary, and there would be no civilized behavior without this sorting out of good and evil. But the refused and unacceptable characteristics do not go away; they only collect in the dark corners of our personality. When they have been hidden long enough, they take on a life of their own—the shadow life.” Robert A. Johnson, Owning Your Own Shadow
May the Lord bless you and protect you.
May the Lord show you his favor and give you his peace.
May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you.
Ase